Our guest post for today is written by Jennifer Heckman. This wonderful mom is the mother and blogger of quirkymommy.com. She writes amazing content straight from her heart, so if you like this post be sure to check her out at her website.
How to Silence Your Inner Negative Nancy and Be the Super Mom You Were Meant to Be
Being a mom, in my opinion, is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Balancing your own life and work is hard enough, pile on the stress of taking care of other tiny humans and making sure they grow up to be happy, kind and well-adjusted people and you’re beyond swamped. This type of stress can lead to what I call the “spiral,” the endless Negative Nancy. The nagging voice in your head that is always telling you that you’re failing. That you’re not trying hard enough.
That your are dropping the ball in every aspect of your life. The more power we give to this voice, the more we lose of ourselves until we are nothing but a ball of stress, depression, anxiety, and resentment. That is why I have come up with this list for all you mommas and negative self-talkers alike, it’s time to shut the voice down and be who we have always wanted to be. These are some ideas on how to silence the voice.
Make a list of all the things you do in a day
I know there have been many days as a mom where I have run around like a chicken with my head cut off and wondered what I really accomplished that day. When your body is screaming for your bed, it’s hard to clarify in your mind what all you accomplished through the blur of taking care of your tiny humans. I challenge you to sit down at the end of your long, hard day and write it all down no matter how mundane it may seem in your head.
That little mundane thing you did for your kid made their day. It mattered to someone, someone you care and love about more than anything in the world. Look at the list and realize that you are superwoman. Remind yourself that even when it feels like you are accomplishing nothing, without that list you have just written down in front of you, your household will not run. Your kids would not be happy and taken care of. That, sister friend, is all the proof you need to know that you are in fact accomplishing amazing things each and every day.
Surround Yourself with People and Things that Lift You Up
This can be someone you know like a friend or a family member. It can also be a podcast, an author or a television show. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Who give you strength and courage to fight that daily fight of keeping your household intact. Find a motivational podcast and listen to it while you are doing household chores. These voices help to drown out your inner negative nancy.
They help to show how thinking positively helps to manifest better things for you and your families lives. Read a self-help book before bed. A great place to start is Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. Let their words be your mantra when you are struggling. You will get through this. You will be ok. You will get to the other end of this struggle and be better and badder than you ever were before. Stifle the urge to beat your self up with the negative nancy in your head, reach for the words of positive people instead.
Be the Change
If you really want to improve, you cannot just improve in your wishes and dreams. You have to do it yourself. This means staying away from people and things that do not serve you anymore. By do not serve you, I mean things that only continue to take away from you, not replenish you. People and things that continue to drain you, but somehow still hold a powerful grip on your life. For me, this was walking away from a job that had been slowly killing me inside for nine years.
It lured me with its false sense of security, but that security wasn’t worth it in the end when I was struggling to get out of bed in the morning. Be the change. Walk away from the emotional vultures in your life. They lure you in with a false sense of hope and security and leave you bereft of happiness and the energy to improve your circumstances. You don’t have to make these changes right away, one at a time is fine. Notice that while it hurts and it is scary to cut these ties initially, the end result is a better life for yourself and your family. Cut those negative ties. Let them go and be free.
Make a Plan
Every dreamer needs to have a plan. If you do not like where you are at in life, whether it’s your job, your family situation, your health, etc., you need to make a solid plan to change these things. Journal. Start your journey with putting your thoughts down on paper. This makes it real. This puts those wishes out there in the world and makes it a tangible thing to focus on.
Write down the specific steps it takes to make this dream happen and put everything you have in you to make those dreams a reality. It can be little or small, but life is too short to deprive yourself of what you truly desire. Don’t be afraid to fail in this process. In fact, welcome all these failures because this is where you learn. Pick yourself back up and try again. Remind yourself that you have one life to live and pour all of your energy into making that your objective each and every day.
As I have recently been making some huge changes in my life, these are some of the things I have done to help shut up my inner negative Nancy. Nancy had never done anything good for me except to serve as a crutch when I was too lazy to try something new and change the things in my life that drug me down. Shut up your Nancy. Put her in the corner and put your fabulous self in charge. You are in control of this fight, not her. If you can do this, you will be capable of great things and living a life you truly love.
Check out also Jennifer’s other post which I like: