There is no love stronger than the love a parent feels for their child. When you have children, being in a relationship with a partner can get complicated. When that relationship grows to the next level, it is not just you who is getting “married.” It is a family commitment.
No matter how much your child loves your new partner, there will be adjustments. A child doesn’t know how to express the fears they have. They do not know how to tell you that they don’t know where they fit in anymore.
This is why it is important to explain what is happening and why. Things will inevitably change to include new family members.
You said yes!
He popped the question and you said yes. Hopefully, you have allowed enough time to help the children understand how living arrangements and marriage works. When it is time to plan the wedding, include every member of the family. There are plenty of ways a child can help. Talk with them and see if any ideas seem to spark interest.
Below we will suggest several options that allow you to include the children. Try to find ways to contribute to the wedding.
- A second proposal
- Each adult should set aside time to ask the children if they will let you share your life. Understand, you may not get a resounding “Yes!” Depending on the age of the kid, you might even get a flat “No!” This s why you should think of the words you are going to use. Ask your partner for their help.
- Put them in the wedding
- Are they able to serve a bridesmaid, flower girl, Junior Bride, or escort for the grandparents?
- Can they pass out gift baskets and programs? Can they give out the rice packages?
Suggested Article: The Most Important Lessons We Need to Teach Our Daughters
Help your child to create a special signature drink. Think Shirley Temple (7-Up and Cherries) in a punch bowl. Try 7UP Sherbert punch. If your little one can handle a ladle and punch cup, they can serve the punch to the guests.
Helium Balloon Send-Off
Station your child at the exits handing out balloons. Be sure to have the weights on the ribbon (the vendor will prepare them) so they will not fly away. Your child can then easily handle the balloons.
A sand ceremony is a perfect way to include your children. There is no hard and fast rule about when the ceremony happens, but it is normally done just before or just after the vows. There is a central crystal vase centered on a table. The groom has a bottle of sand of a particular color. The bride will have sand of another color. Give your child (children) sand of their own color. The groom pours his sand into the central vase saving, saving ½ of the sand.
The bride adds her sand on top of the grooms sand. Then the child or children add their individual colors. At this point, the family pours in the rest of their sand into the central vase. This symbolizes the blending of each person to create a new life.
More ways to include
- Take her with you when you look at wedding dresses.
- Take them with you to the cake tasting
- Buy them an instant camera and film. Let them take their own pictures. You can give them a photo album to put together when you are making yours
- Allow them to serve by handing the guests cake
There are many ways to include your child and make your wedding a family celebration. The most important thing is communication. Let your child have a voice and consider them in your plans. As long as you show compassion and understanding, you and your child will get through the wedding just fine.
This awesome article is from our friend Lauren from daintymom.com.
Suggested Reading from her blog: Before you Hit the Road: Prepare Yourself for a long Journey with Your Kids