Is it healthy for a Single Mother to Date again? Here is How to Approach the Situation.
Whenever you think about single moms in the world of dating, the visions of many of them may not be able to balance the guilty that runs into their mind.
Getting back into a relationship after divorce does not only intimidate one logically but also, the emotions are affected. There is a lot to be anticipated after a single mother gets into a relationship.
For example, the reaction of your kids, how a single mother should dress? It is uncharted territory, although it could be highly beneficial to get out of the comfort zone.
Being a single mother itself is already difficult much more so if you, a single mother, tries to be in a relationship again. This time it will be a whole lot different than you are just single and don’t have kids. Here is how to date again if you are single mom.
11 Good Advice for Single Mothers on How to Date Again
1.What you’re entitled to’ in life
You realize every person will have an opinion on whether you need a relationship or not. So you need to understand that life is yours, and no one else will live it for you other than you. If children are very young, try to imagine the number of years you will stay from away from the industry of dating before they mature and leave home. Therefore, if you are ready to date, nothing should bar you from undertaking the decision.
2. Expect Resistance from Your Kids
You should not expect your young children to be happy when you start to date. You realize, they have all along had you, and now you have to be shared. Therefore, engage them and recognize their feeling. Let them know how much love you have for them. Note, getting into a relationship out of guilty’ will only make you a love martyr.’ As a grown mother, you should make decisions on your own and not your children.
3. Kids do not need to meet’ each man that comes on your way
Most of the children become very uncomfortable whenever there is a chain of men going out with their mom. It is advisable to keep the dates very private until a time when things will get serious. If otherwise done, you are likely to make your children get angry and jealous. When the right time comes for the children to meet your man, carry out a meeting away from home for a proper introduction.
4. Consider the finances
Money is not an excellent solution to everything, but the financial situation of a potential date should be considered. The financial stability’ of a prospective partner is a clear indication that his life is generally reasonable. You have had enough’ doing everything for yourself, you shouldn’t fall for someone who will struggle to take care of himself and your family. Serious men’ should be able to strike a balance between saving and earning before you decide to move forward romantically. Therefore, you should look for someone who is financially’ stable and who can at least take care of himself without depending on you.
5. Solve any Issue you had with the father of your kids
If you have a kid with someone whom you separated with, learn how to co-parent to make things work to avoid drama with the new man getting into your life. This is the foremost housekeeping’ chore you should put in order before stepping out of date. This is, meant to assure you a healthy’ future relationship and good coexistence with your kids.
6. Avoid getting intimacy very soon
DO NOT get intimate to soon! It is very natural to have a natural feeling like those of teen girls who have raging’ hormones once you embark on dating. It should be noted that the bedroom should not be the appropriate place where you should begin dating.
The Passion can easily be confused’ by love’ and can be carried away by a relationship which might not work in your favor. If the new man is ready to wait, he is going to wait for anything’ that will come later. A good gentleman should not push hard for intimacy, but also he should be able to respect one’s feelings.
7.Approach it slowly
The new relationship feels like a ‘breath of fresh’ air, and you might be compelled to develop it faster. Therefore, you need to give yourself, sufficient time to have a clear understanding of the new gentleman. If at all, this relationship has some long term goals, then it will not hurt if you take it slow. It will allow your kids to adapt to the new man and he will also be able to recognize you as their’ good mother.
8. Embrace lot of discretion
When you find yourself in excitement because of the perceived relationship, you may not know that kissing and cuddling is not healthy when done openly. If you hear your kids telling you to ‘to go to the bedroom’ just know that you have taken it very far. Think of behaviors you want your kids to emulate from you. Therefore, you should behave similarly to how you would want your children to lead themselves once they become of age.
9. Responsibilities of parenting are yours as their mother
You should not be tempted at any time to allow your man to take the roles of parenting until a time when you will feel it is the right time. It may sound weird to enable him to pick your children. Wait until he becomes a fixture into your life. Ensure he does not discipline your kids. Your kids may not like it, and they are likely to hold grudges against him.
10.Ensure your priorities are well balanced
Well even if you find that your children’s town game gives you a chance to spend time together with your man, you should try to reason it out. If presenting yourself at the games means best for your kids avail yourself and create an alternative moment for your boyfriend
11. When you go for a date, focus on it
Being a single mother, your life is likely to be all about your kids. They should not dominate your conversation during your date time. Therefore, take your time to know more about this new man: his work, interests, and hobbies. Well, it is good to talk about your kids, but let it be very minimal.
How To Start Dating Again
As a single mother, it might sound a bit challenging to get into a relationship after divorce. The reason is that one has to factor in her children and their relationship with the new man. Therefore, this detailed information should guide any single mother out there on how to approach a new relationship after facing divorce.
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