Do you feel taken for granted? Do you feel underappreciated in your relationship? Are you wondering why do you feel the way you feel?
There are various times in our lives when our kind acts of service go unnoticed to others; when we feel our kindness is not valued or appreciated, and when we hardly hear phrases such as, “thank you,” or “I’m grateful.” These periods can be so frustrating that they can put us in a continuously bad mood, and most times we tend to feel impatient when it comes to hearing gratitude from others. Often we can even feel a sense of worthlessness — since no one outwardly acknowledges what we do, it feels as if they really don’t appreciate who we are and what we do doesn’t have real value.
Feeling unappreciated does not only messes with one’s emotions but it also alters the way we think and act. Sometimes we plaster a smile on our faces to hide our true feelings from the world, when, in actual fact, all we want to do is hide. At the end of the day, we feel devastated because we spend so much of our energy pleasing the people around us and our efforts are not reciprocated with a single act of gratitude. During these periods, you might begin to wonder if the things you do for others are really worth the effort; it might be easier to withdraw and isolate yourself from these people who don’t seem to appreciate you and simply stop trying.
While these feelings can be harmful to one’s overall well-being if left unaddressed over a period of time, most times we neglect the negative feelings and just work through it. However, before giving in to a sense of worthlessness, here is a pertinent question to ask yourself, “Why do I care so much if people value me and how can I stop feeling unappreciated?” Although you have no control over other people’s attitudes and actions, there are some things you can do differently that may change their attitude and the way they behave towards you. If you want to learn how to deal with feeling unappreciated and to create a healthy balance between serving others and taking care of yourself then keep reading.
You Need to Value Yourself More
If you are one of those people that lack confidence and have low self-esteem— and what that really means is that you worry about not being good enough, instead of just getting on with just being your own very best— when you’re on a path to feeling unappreciated. The measure of gratitude shown by the people around you should never determine the self-value of what you do; rather, your actions should be based on self-desire.
The value of the service you provide to people should entirely be based on who you are, the quality of the service you feel you can offer, and the esteem you hold for the person to whom you are offering the service.
When you lend your friend twenty dollars for lunch, you should be motivated by a genuine desire to help them. If you feel you have to lend them money or else you will look bad, or if just want them to like you, you are placing your happiness on how they, or others, respond to your actions. By clarifying your self-motivation before lending a helping hand to others, you’ll be able to offer service to people with no strings attached, and won’t require recognition for your good deeds but will welcome it when given.
Related Article: We Become What We Think About – Define Yourself
Talk to Other People About How You Feel
If you do still feel unappreciated by someone close to you, your misgivings can likely be solved easily through open and honest communication. Explain to your family member or colleague at work how and why you feel unappreciated when your efforts go unnoticed, and how important it is to you that the things you do for them are acknowledged.
Oftentimes others recognize the actions you have made, but due to circumstance, personal obligations, or just plain distractions, they aren’t able to (or simply don’t think to) verbalize their gratitude. It’s also easy for people innocently to overlook the contributions you’ve made, and if you give a gentle reminder, they might happily give you the recognition you crave.
Show Appreciation to Others
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” We are all familiar with the Golden Rule, told to us over and over again as children by our parents and teachers as they tried to instill into us a sense of kindness. However, it is easy to forget this rule in our adult lives—especially if we are already feeling unappreciated. It can be easy to begin harboring resentment towards others when we feel unappreciated, and we feel they are taking us for granted in our lives.
This only starts an unhealthy cycle of bitterness between us and our friends, family, and coworkers, which is very difficult to escape from. In order to break this cycle, it is imperative that you continue to show appreciation for the actions of others, despite how you believe they feel towards you.
Ensure you’re grateful for every act of kindness or service people render to you and say “thank you” regularly. Be earnest in expressing your feelings. By making an effort yourself, you will not only show the people in your life your appreciation for what they do for you, but you will encourage them to do the same towards you. Remember that you are the most valuable asset and you are no good to anybody unless you are good to yourself.
Tips to Raise Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
- Don’t let people walk all over you
- Say what you want
- Don’t say YES when you mean NO
- Be kind to yourself
- Have fun
- Get enough sleep
- Have ME time
- Stand up for yourself
- Stay positive and surround yourself by positive people
- Get gratitude in your attitude
- Enjoy simple things in life