Moms manage busy lives. We feed, clothe, and care for our family in many ways. We cook, clean, and do other things in our homes. There isn’t much time left over for ourselves.
Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. We think that there just isn’t time, or that we’re fine, we don’t need that time. The kids need it. Our partners need it. The kitchen needs to be cleaned, or the laundry needs to be folded for the millionth time.
All the above is true, but we also need care. We need physical and emotional attention.
When we don’t care for ourselves, we begin to tire quickly. We snap unintentionally at our partners, family members, and even our kids. Those are the people we love the most, and it hurts a lot when we hurt them. We begin to feel that we aren’t worth the time to spend on ourselves.
You are Worth Every Second You Spend on Yourself
Read the sentence above as many times as you need to until you believe it.
When we don’t care for ourselves physically, it shows. Stress takes its toll on the body- resulting in headaches, fatigue, muscle and joint pain, stomach problems, etc. Over time, these things can lead to more severe conditions.
Also Read: Can Stress Kill You? A Guide For Women
Self-care is essential for all parents, especially for parents of children with special needs. Our kids need more from us, physically and emotionally. Their conditions require more of our brainpower, which leads to a lot of stress. Sometimes we don’t know what to do. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just reality. When we lift kids that are almost our size, that also takes a lot out of us, especially those of us who have physical issues of our own.
My ideas for self-care are practical but useful. I understand the need for self-care for special needs parents. I have a 12-year-old son with ADHD and autism. It took a long time (and a mini-stroke in March 2013) for me to realize that to care for my son and his siblings, I need to take care of myself.
Ask for help
This may be the biggest form of self-care you can do. Asking for help isn’t a weakness. It is having someone else help you out, even for a couple of hours a week, so that you can have time to yourself to enjoy hobbies, time with friends/partner, etc. Time to recharge is beneficial to your emotional wellbeing. This can also be in the form of asking for physical assistance with your child if needed. Respite care can be found in many areas.
Family and friends can be great support (I have great support in my family-my mom has been my biggest supporter and is great with my son) but if you don’t have that or need outside the family support, local or online support groups can be wonderful.
Also, if you feel you need to talk to someone, a therapist can be a great place to start. Holding in your emotions is not good for anyone, including yourself. Therapy or a support group can be great for processing any feelings that you may have about your child’s diagnosis and getting any questions answered.
Go have a hobby. I love adult coloring books, and it helps greatly with anxiety. My son’s doing well these days, but I have had anxiety for years. It soothes me. I also like meditation. This helps a lot on the bad days with my kids. Have fun when you can with your kids. Parenting isn’t always as hard as it seems.
If you can’t get out, there are many at-home ideas for self-care. Try these ideas:
- Taking a long bath with candles
- Watching a funny movie
- Watching animal videos on YouTube
- Facial masks
- Pamper your skin
- Writing in a journal
- Reading a good book
Make that doctor’s appointment! Physical self-care ensures that you are around for many years to come. I went to a yearly checkup, and my doctor found a nodule on the left side of my thyroid, and I had to have it removed in May. You never know what’s going on unless you get it checked. If you’re not feeling well, go to your doctor. If you don’t have a doctor, please find one.
Take care of yourselves, moms! We are worth it, and our kids will be glad to see us grow old.
If you are an anxious person like me, essential oils can ease your life. Since I was a kid, I have been struggling to control my stress. Most of the time I cannot sleep because ideas are spinning in my head. It also makes me panic, be really negative and I feel powerless regarding my situation.
If you are familiar with those effects (you might have others such as headaches, light eating disorders, looking old…), there are natural solutions that can help you. Essential oils and other natural and healthy practices support me during those rough times and I believe they can comfort you too.
How can essential oils fight stress?
Essential oils are composed of tiny molecules that go through your skin or lungs, into your blood and reach your brain. There, they act on the area that is causes stress, anxiety, panic, and even depression. This is how they can relieve you.
Besides, they are “adaptogen” so they can adapt to your issue naturally. Therefore, if you are restless, they calm you down and if you are depressed, they lift your mood up. Magic, isn’t it?
If you think that it is too good to be true, the Telegraph highlighted a study driven in Germany that proves it right. Indeed, those scientists explained that aromatherapy does work. They explain that “Brain scans showed the effect on a chemical called GABA on nerve cells was enhanced by the fragrances and helped soothe, relieve anxiety and promote rest.” Good news, essential oils have a strong positive impact on GABA. So are you know willing to try?
What oils should you use?
We count many essential oils that are supposed to reduce stress. However, we notice a lack of research concerning that topic. Thus, I decided to share here the oils that were scientifically tested.
According to the study I shared above, Jasmine essential oil would have the same effects than valium. Professor Hatt from the Ruhr University in Germany showed that jasmine fragrance increased the GABA effect by 5 times and acts as a strong sedative.
It is perfect if you enjoy the floral smell.
Lavender is one my favorite because I can use it for almost everything. It soothes my skin, strengthens my hair and reduces my stress level. The relaxing effect is proven. Indeed, according to the US National Library of Medecine, lavender does calm the body and the mind.
I also love lemon essential oil because it is fresh and I cannot get bored of it. A study published in the Behavioural Brain Research “suggest(s) that lemon oil possesses anxiolytic, antidepressant-like effects”. This essential oil is then a great help to reduce stress, to fight depression and to improve mood and sleep.
I started using that oil in my diffuser by chance since I received it as a gift. Now I love it! I use it in my diffuser to relax and spread a delicious smell in my flat. There is no doubt that essential oils are safer than any air freshener.
Ylang Ylang has been used in aromatherapy for ages. A study published the US National Library of Medecine proved that it reduces stress because “The ylang ylang oil caused a significant decrease of blood pressure”
How to use relaxing essential oils?
There are many ways to use essential oils to relax.
- You may inhale it by placing 1 or 2 drops in your palms.
- You can apply the drops directly on your skin: temples, wrists, neck…
- You could also put a few drops on a scarf and inhale it when you need to relax. This is convenient if you face a stressful day and that you need a relaxing effect to last.
- Adding a few drops to your bath or shower is nice too. It creates an essential oil steam that is perfect to inhale.
- Finally, you can use a diffuser for a long lasting benefit.
I prefer using my diffuser so I can enjoy a nice smell in my whole apartment. It is perfect to relax after a long working day. Besides, it “turns off” my brain before I go to sleep. Adding a few drops of lemon oil would also calm you down while cleaning the air.
I also have a lavender bottle in my bag so I can use it on the go. In that case, I put 1 drop in my palms and inhale it.
Other ways to fight stress naturally
I usually do yoga just after work, before I go home. It is the perfect transition for me because it helps to balance my working and personal lives. It is hard for me to set boundaries but I found that yoga is ideal.
I prefer going to hot yoga classes and finish them with a savannah. That combination exhausts me and totally empties my brain. Once I am back home, I am ready to enjoy my night with a good cup of tea (never forget to hydrate after hot yoga), a warm shower and a movie.
If you do not have time to go to a yoga studio, you can practice at home. Some yoga apps guide you very well; you should give it a go!
If I really struggle to fall asleep because of stress, I also do some meditation exercises.
I noticed that I have anxiety when I receive stressful news at an inconvenient time. For instance, reading a work email after 8 pm makes me nervous. This is surely related to my difficulties to separate work and free time. Therefore, I decided to ignore work at those key moments. I try to disconnect and not think about work, which means no emails, texts or social media checking. To make it short, NO PHONE! Disconnect and your mental health will thank you.
I highly recommend to not checking your phone for 30 minutes after you wake up and one hour before you go to sleep. It has amazing effects on me. My day starts slowly and ends without overthinking.
Have you ever tried? I would love to read your thoughts about it.
This Guest Post was written by Marine from attitudeorganic.com.
“I have no skills. How can I get a job without experience?”
Getting a job with no prior experience can be very frustrating for anyone new to the working world. Most entry-level job descriptions often require a solid set of skills in addition to a degree in the required field, making it difficult for fresh graduates to land that first job they need to boost their experience and kick-start their career.
In fact, one of the most frequently asked questions by first-time job seekers is, “How can I get a job without experience?” However, there are some ways to gain the skills which will get you hired in the field you are looking to start your career in.
Below are three tips to help you improve your chances of getting a job with no experience:
Volunteering is one of the quickest and easiest ways of building experience, and it’s a sure-fire way to boost your employability—especially if you have no relevant experience in your intended job area. What a volunteering experience lack in financial compensation, it makes up for with a host of sought-after transferable skills. Volunteering can give you abilities such as teamwork, communication, commitment, and time management, among others.
While non-profits or charitable organizations are generally the best bet when looking for volunteer experience, it is possible to find volunteer opportunities in any field. For example, sometimes Universities allow recent science graduates to volunteer in their research labs; this way they get free, educated labor and you get practical skills towards a professional career.
Internships are a slightly better option than volunteering, as they provide a more structured approach to building the experience needed by first-time job seekers. Although internships can be paid or unpaid, they’re incredibly useful for building a network of contacts. They also teach you the ins and outs specifically within the job position, and they usually offer more access and insight to the internal process of a company than volunteering positions do.
Oftentimes, internships can lead to employment within the organization you are working with, or they can help you find employment elsewhere by putting in a good reference for you.
When you’re starting out with no experience, who you know can be just as important as what you know. A recommendation from a personal contact to an employer can go a long way in securing an employment. But how do you build up a network of contacts if you’re struggling to enter the world of work?
Traditional face-to-face style networking is still one of the most effective ways to get a job without experience, as it leaves a much stronger impression on the people you are connecting with. That’s why you should take part in some of those career fairs, lectures, and local human-rights events offered by your university.
If you have already graduated, contact the nearest university and ask if you can participate in their career development events—you would be surprised how often they say yes! Reach out to current or past professors and ask if they have any connections or suggestions on your job search, regardless if you have no skills; focus instead on your past studies and your strengths as a person.
Even sitting your professors down for a brief chat by buying them a cup of coffee can make a strong impact on them, making you the first person they think of when the next job offer comes up.
Another effective way of building and maintaining your professional network is through social media. With advancements in technology, networking has never been easier on social media.
Maintaining a professional profile on social media platforms such as Twitter and LinkedIn, and connecting with organizations and individuals in your chosen field, can lead to referrals and potentially a job offer. In recent months, LinkedIn has rolled out its own job search feature, wherein companies can post job offers directly to the sight.
This allows users to not only search potential listings but view how many “connections” they have with the hiring company. You might find out that the HR position you were interested in is actually run by your friend’s cousin! Being aware of the connections listed and regularly keeping contact with those in your network—even if it’s merely alike and a comment on their most recent job/life update— is a great way to maintain relationships for when jobs present themselves.
We want the best for our daughters. From the moment they enter the world, we are determined to protect our children from harm while simultaneously raising them for the amazing life which lies ahead. However, in our current social-economic climate, it is imperative that we prepare our daughters appropriately. Here are the primary ways to make sure that our daughters grow up to be wonder-women.
The idea of equality implies that men and women are the same; in fact, we are NOT. By focusing on teaching our daughters equity, instead of equality, we are instilling in them the importance it is for them to have the same access to opportunities as men— instead of just being treated in the same way. Equity means we are giving girls the same opportunities to explore their talents and their hobbies just as we do boys in our society.
We are encouraging the daughters we love to become mathematicians, scientists, and leaders, and we are making an active effort to show them female role models which standard media doesn’t show them. It is important to give our daughters the empowerment not to feel inferior, and ultimately providing opportunities for our women to have equity is beneficial to all people.
It can incredibly difficult and frustrating to drop your ego, swallow your pride and say sorry. However, it is a vital skill to teach our children. It is critical to teach your daughter to take accountability for her actions, by admitting when she is wrong and by apologizing.
Having these skills will not only be paramount in your daughter’s personal lives but will also help her in professional situations. By being able to express herself and apologize genuinely, your daughter can go an extremely long way towards mending and building trust in her human interactions and relationships.
Forgiveness frees the mind from past bondage, difficulties, and damaging experiences while allowing us to move on with a sense of peace and dignity. While difficult, forgiveness ultimately leaves us (and the daughters we love) in a more positive state of mind, and gives them the opportunity to learn and grow. Forgiveness is something we do not only for others but for ourselves, whether the other party apologizes for or not.
The most important thing to demonstrate your daughters id the importance to forgive themselves. Teach them to openly and honestly accept their past mistakes, and then how to move on and learn from them. We instill innate kindness in our daughters when we teach them how to forgive themselves and others.
In life, we are often too quick in making decisions at the moment, full of impatience or anger, and often regret our choices later on. It is in these moments where having patience is of the essence; otherwise, our rushed decisions can have serious repercussions. Restraint and self-control can transform relationships, and they play a very important role when making all sorts of decisions.
From small issues, such as wanting to learn to play an instrument, to larger dilemmas, such as waiting to hear back from college applications, your daughter will encounter many different scenarios in which she will need to exercise patience.
There are many things which can be changed if we have the patience to think past a situation. All things which have come will pass, be them good or bad, and time will heal all wounds; having the patience to overcome hardship and wait out the storm is a key to the daughter you love living a fulfilling life.
Stand For Yourself, Always
In this very moment, women around the world are going through various types of abuse. Many are still holding themselves from speaking up the truth for many reasons, ranging from physical safety to mental and psychological abuse which makes them feel as if they cannot.
Many women have been told from childhood that their opinions don’t matter—they have been told that their primary duty is to be beautiful, agreeable, and quiet in the face of adversity. It is for this reason that they don’t how to stand up and voice out their displeasure when they are abused. They feel either that they cannot, that such behavior is normal, or that no one will care or listen to them if they do speak out.
Overcoming fear and feeling the freedom to say what you truly feel and think, especially in a society that does not support the voices of women, is incredibly difficult.
However, it is critical to instill in your daughter the power of her voice as soon as she is able to speak. When we teach the daughters we love to stand up for themselves, their beliefs and their truths, we are giving freedom not only to them but to others who will be empowered by them.
Teach your daughter to know what she really wants because, at some point, people will try to sway and pressure her into thinking or doing something against her beliefs. By giving your daughter a voice, you give her the strength and courage she needs to grow into a proud and resilient woman.
Are you looking for some extraordinary and memorable Christmas activities for your kinds? Here are a couple of enjoyable Christmas activities for your little ones that will definitely put a smile on their faces.
Christmas Movie Marathon
Spending an afternoon or night seeing Christmas motion pictures is definitely something that the whole family will enjoy! Ask each member of the family chooses their favorite holiday flick to watch with the household. Make a huge bowl of delicious popcorn with melted white chocolate and red and green sprinkles or blend pretzels with red and green sweets and delight in. While the kids enjoy their snack, you and your hubby can indulge in some chocolate and a glass of red wine.
Take a walk in your neighborhood to see the beautiful Christmas decorations. You can also take the kids downtown, where they can see the lights and decorations, and smell the Christmas spirit in the air.
Decorating a Christmas tree is probably currently on your to-do list. Make this holiday tradition even more unique by adding a brand-new kid-made Christmas ornament each year. Mark the year on your designs so that you can track when each cutie was created!
Make your own Christmas Ornaments
The holiday season can be a little bit overwhelming especially for working parents. Days are getting shorter and the list is getting longer, so getting your kids to help you out with the holiday preparations is a fantastic idea. Let them create ornaments, decorate the house and the Christmas tree!
Christmas, party and video games, kids love them, who does not? Collect a list of the best Christmas parlor game that will inhabit your little kids. Welcome, all of your family and friends over to share sweet deals with and let the celebration began’.
It’ll definitely be an extraordinary experience for them. Learn a couple of carols You can also sign up with too!
Contribute Clothing and Food to a Homeless Shelter
You might also volunteer at a food pantry to help your kids value their blessings. You can ask your kids to contribute the things they don’t need anymore. This way they find out to the value of what they have at the very same thing teaching them the essence of humanity.
Thinking about getting a puppy? Your little ones were begging you to get them a puppy and you finally gave in? But how to choose the perfect breed for your kids?
You might think that any dog, especially if it comes in your family as a puppy, will be great with kids. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. If you are thinking to get a small dog, you really need to make sure that your kids understand that dogs are not toys. Small breeds need extra care and gentle hands. If you are leaning toward a big dog, make sure that the whole family understands that the level of patience and work involved. Big dogs usually need training and daily exercise.
Owning a dog is an important decision, especially if you have small children. Here are the five perfect dogs for a family with kids.
Who doesn’t love beagles? They are cute, smart, and adventurous. They make perfect companions for kids with lots of energy. Your kids and the puppy will become best friends in no time.
Pugs are absolutely adorable. They are a perfect match for families with kids. Pugs are playful and devoted companions. Plus, all children love pugs!
This beautiful dog will do absolutely anything to please you. They might need a little training, but their smart nature will make the training seem like a fun game.
The golden retriever is a favorite dog by most parents. Loyal, patient and with a moderate level of energy, make the perfect addition to a family with kids.
The medium poodle is extremely intelligent, devoted and good with kids. This dog is perfect for kids that are affectionate and gentle.
For more baby/kids friendly dog breeds check this link.